To My Mother

人活着的时候,只是事情多,不计较白天和黑夜。人一旦死了日子就堆起来。算一算,再有二十天,我妈就三周年了。

rén huó zhe de shí hou , zhĭ shì shì qing duō , bú jì jiào bái tiān hé hēi yè 。 rén yí dàn sĭ le rì zi jiù duī qi lai , suàn yí suàn , zài yŏu èr shí tiān , wŏ mā jiù sān zhōu nián le 。

When people are alive, there are so many things to do , without regard to days and nights. Once a man dies the days are piled up. Count them up, it will be the third anniversary for my death, in twenty days time.

 

 

三年以前我每打喷嚏,总要说一句:“这是谁想我呀?”。我妈爱说笑,就接茬说:“谁想哩,妈想哩!”。这三年里,我的喷嚏尤其多。 熬夜太久,就要打喷嚏,喷嚏一打,便想到我妈了,认定是我妈还在牵挂我哩。

sān nián yĭ qián wŏ mĕi dă pēn tì , zŏng yào shuō yí jù : zhè shì shéi xiăng wŏ yā ? wŏ mā ài shuō xiào , jiù jiē chá shuō : shéi xiăng leī , mā xiăng leī ! zhè sān nián lĭ , wŏ de pēn tì yóu qí duō , áo yè tài jiŭ , jiù yào dă pēn tì , pēn tì yì dá , biàn xiăng dào wŏ mā le , rèn dìng shì wŏ mā hái zài qiān guà wŏ leī 。

Three years ago, after every time I sneezed, I always said: "Who is  missing me?".  My mother loved to tell jokes, she answered after that: "Who is missing you? Mom is missing you!".  I sneezed a lot particularly in those three years.  Staying up late made me sneeze. It also made me think of my mom. I believe it must have been my mom still worried about me.

 

我也是觉得我妈还在,尤其我一个人静静地待在家里,这种感觉就十分强烈。我常在写作时,突然能听到我妈在叫我,叫得很真切,一听到叫声我便习惯地朝右边扭过头去。

wŏ yĕ shì jué de wŏ mā hái zài , yóu qí wŏ yí gè rén jìng jìng de dāi zài jiā lĭ , zhè zhŏng găn jué jiù shí fēn qiáng liè 。 wŏ cháng zài xiĕ zuò shí , tū rán néng tīng dào wŏ mā zài jiào wŏ , jiào de hĕn zhēn qiè , yì tīng dào jiào shēng wŏ biàn xí guàn de cháo yòu bian niŭ guò tóu qù 。

I also feel my mom still exists, in particular, when I stay at home alone quietly, this feeling is very strong. I often heard my mom calling me, when I was writing. It was real, I habitually turn my head to the right, once I heard that sound.

 

从前我妈坐在右边那个房间的床头上,我一伏案写作,她就不再走动。看得时间久了,她要叫我一声 “嗯”,然后说:“世上的字你能写完吗? 出去转转。”。

cóng qián wŏ mā zuò zài yòu bian nà ge fáng jiān de chuáng tóu shàng , wŏ yì fú àn xiĕ zuò , tā jiù bú zài zŏu dòng , kàn de shí jiān jiŭ le , tā yào jiào wŏ yì shēng , rán hòu shuō : shì shàng de zì nĭ néng xiĕ wán ma , chū qù zhuàn zhuan 。

In the past, my mother was sitting on the bed of the room, she wouldn't move after I started to write in front of my desk. After a long time of watching me, she called "em", then said: " Can you finish all the words in the world? Go out for a walk."

 

现在,每听到我妈叫我。我就放下笔走进那个房间,当然是房间里什么也没有,却要立上半天,自言自语我妈是来了。或许,她在逗我,故意藏到挂在墙上的她那张照片里,我便给照片前的香炉里上香,要说上一句:我不累。

xiàn zài , mĕi tīng dào wŏ mā jiào wŏ 。 wŏ jiù fàng xia bĭ zŏu jìn nà ge fáng jiān , dāng rán shì fáng jiān lĭ shén me yĕ méi yŏu , què yào lì shàng bàn tiān , zì yán zì yŭ wŏ mā shì lái le , huò xŭ , tā zài dòu wŏ , gù yì cáng dào guà zài qiáng shàng de tā nà zhāng zhào piàn lĭ , wŏ biàn gĕi zhào piàn qián de xiāng lú lĭ shàng xiāng , yào shuō shàng yí jù : wŏ bú lèi 。

Now, every time I hear my mother calling me. I will put down the pen and walk into that room, of course, there is nothing in the room, but I will stand there for a while, and tell myself  that my mother has came. Perhaps, she was playing with me, deliberately hid in the photo hanging on the wall, then I incense sticks in the incense burner which is in front of my mom's photo. and said: "I'm not tired."

 

三周年的日子一天天临近,乡下的风俗是要办一场仪式的,我准备着香烛花果去上坟,现实告诉着我,妈是死了,我在地上,她在地下,阴阳两隔,母子再也难以相见,顿时热泪肆流,长声哭泣啊。

sān zhōu nián de rì zi yì tiān tiān lín jìn , xiāng xia de fēng sú shì yào bàn yì cháng yí shì de , wŏ zhŭn bèi zhe xiāng zhú huā guŏ qù shàng fén , xiàn shí gào su zhe wŏ , mā shì sĭ le , wŏ zài dì shang , tā zài dì xià , yīn yáng liăng gé , mŭ zĭ zài yĕ nán yĭ xiāng jiàn , dùn shí rè lèi sì liú , cháng shēng kū qì a 。

The third anniversary is drawing near day by day. It needs a ritual according to  the country's custom. I'm preparing fruit and candles for the grave, reality tells me that Mom is dead. I'm on the ground, she is underground, separated by yin and yang. The mother and daughter can no longer to see each other, suddenly set my eyes at flow.